calibre of bag lady in Ludlow and no I don’t mean me!?!
Just yesterday walking into town a rather large bott was facing up to the sky, clad in taupe linen dungarees with acres of white skin showing underneath. Her head was firmly in the rubbish bin, now whether it is because Ludlow is such a happening town the refuse is of a higher quality I really couldn’t say!
As I passed by I wondered what was she doing as she definitely didn’t look like a bona fide tramp?
A couple of years ago in Canterbury sitting outside a restaurant I spied a slim elegant, (well to say elegant wasn’t strictly true, elegant in my mind. Which in itself is questionable?) woman pushing a bicycle. She was a vision completely and utterly in her own sweet world. She stopped and from the many bags adorning her bike she got out a pair of shoes which she tried on, admiring them as she turned her foot this way and that! Her hair was powdered, yes powdered with what looked like the contents of a box of Fred’s finest Homepride flour. She was adorned with jewellery of every colour and bling. I walked up to her and said how much I admired her style, which I honestly did. She obviously wasn’t used to being spoken to, as she stood looking at me in the same funny way that I had looked at her. On reflection we must have looked strange two odd woman gazing into each other’s eyes. Hubs, meanwhile looked on as only husbands can! On closer inspection she had gold chipped nail polish and was made up to the nines, well eight and a halfs. Alice Cooper would have been proud.
I carried on chatting not caring that I wasn’t eliciting any response. As I said goodbye she did grunt in a positive way!
On getting home, I routelled out my much loved gold nail varnish and some tiny white stars on fine wire, which I suggested would look good threaded through her hair. Some other odds and ends I thought she might like and sent them with a message to the sorting office in Canterbury to deliver to the lady with the bike in Canterbury. With an accompanying fan letter.
I never got a reply, nor did I expect one.
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